Flora’s Walk Ottawa for Perinatal Mental Health, 2023

May 3 was World Maternal Mental Health Day. For the second year in a row, I was honoured to be the official photographer for Flora’s Walk Ottawa in support of perinatal mental health. Flora’s Walk began last year, in 2022, in order to help raise awareness and garner greater government support for perinatal mental health initiatives in Canada in response to the sudden and tragic death of new Mom Flora Babakhani. You can read more about Flora’s story, as well as the important work of the Canadian Perinatal Mental Health Collaborative here.

At the time of this writing, there were over 40 walks across Canada within the last week, and over $100,000 raised! I want to give a huge shoutout to the 19 local Ottawa Moms and their littles for joining me for a whirlwind round of Motherhood Mini Sessions at Rooted Family Wellness Centre last weekend. All proceeds from that event were donated to Flora’s Walk and we raised $1073.00 together! Some photos from the mini sessions are below.

Why is this important to me?

Vulnerable post ahead. While I don’t normally provide event photography, I am happy to do so for causes that are important to me. If overcoming the stigma associated with mental health and illness is an ongoing battle, then maternal mental illness is the final frontier. Motherhood is the single hardest role in the entirety of human existence. Also quite possibly the most underappreciated. Sure, we tell ourselves it's important. Yet for something so seemingly important, why is it so many mothers, especially new mothers, feel so alone?

Motherhood isn't meant to be lonely. It's meant to be felt and experienced with other mothers. That's not the reality for many of us, however. It certainly wasn't for me (still isn't to be pretty honest). When my babies we born, I had no sisters, no sister-in-laws at the time, no close friends on mat leave and many of whom weren't even Moms yet. A partner who just started a very demanding job. Family several hours or several provinces away. My own mother diagnosed with terminal cancer when I was 8 months postpartum and extended family oblivious to my drowning. I don't blame anyone - we're all products of the same culture. 

I had thought I was prepared. I read all the books, took all the classes. After anxiety-filled fertility treatments, I thought the desire for motherhood was enough. It wasn't. A healthy and uneventful pregnancy turned into a traumatic birth, traumatic infant feeding pressure, and inadequate postpartum support and isolation coupled with a colicky, high needs baby. Prepared for this I was not. Nor would anyone be. Still, I blamed myself. It took me years to finally realise it wasn't my fault at all.  

This is a social problem. To be blunt, we as a society, as a community, do an astoundingly utter shit job of supporting mothers, supporting parents, supporting young families (pardon the language there…this cause brings out my feisty side). If you are a mother reading this and feeling like you can't handle it all, I'm going to repeat what I said earlier: WE ARE NOT MEANT TO DO THIS ALONE. It's not you. It's not your fault. This beautiful gift of motherhood isn't meant to be a solitary endeavor. And while those babies and children you love and care for are important, you yourself, matter as well. Full stop. 

What’s Being Done?

Thanks to organizations like the CPMHC and events like Flora’s Walk Ottawa, things are beginning to move in the right direction. At yesterday’s event, which was attended by several Members of Parliament, including the Minister for Mental Health and Addictions, Dr. Carolyn Bennett, the federal government announced its commitment of over $850,000 to support three projects focused on developing a national standard on the prevention, identification and treatment of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. This standard is sorely needed to help medical and allied health professionals learn more about perinatal mental health, recognize it in their patients and help them. This indicates that things are moving in the right direction, however, more work needs to be done.

If you’re a new mom or birthing person who is feeling overwhelmed, struggling or not feeling like yourself, please, talk to someone. This could be a partner, friend, or your doctor. And if you ever have intrusive thoughts of harming yourself or someone else, please call 911. Help IS available. And for everyone else, as Dr. Bennett said during her speech yesterday, it’s not enough to just drop off a meal or bring the new baby a gift - ask how Mom is doing; how she’s really doing.